Friends
Every woman has a core set of friends, the ones she tells her most intimate secrets too, reveals her soul too, laughs with, cries with, and knows deep down will never judge her, will always support her and faithfully stand by her side without fail. I too, have a set of friends that are my foundation; my treasured best and oldest friend Kasi (I say oldest because I want to get it out in the open from the beginning, she is older than me, no matter what she tells you), and I became friends when we were young children .Our friendship has survived well over 3 decades, 3 husbands including divorces, countless boyfriends followed by heartache, 3 amazing children and 1 grandchild (hers… I told you I was younger). She is the tall, voluptuous one with the gentle nature, whose smile is infinitely contagious and instantly welcoming. Light brown eyes and curly long honey blond hair, she is definitely the quiet one of the group, you know quiet….. like the calm before the wild storm. Along with Kasi is my cherished and dear friend Trinity, we met about 18 years ago while working for the same company, formed an immediate bond and have been friends ever since. We together have endured 3 husbands, countless boyfriends, 2 children, multiple career changes and the unbelievably devastating loss of a loved one brought on by a senseless murder. Trinity is a smoking hot blonde that could literally stop traffic and seriously cause a pile up on the freeway. Apparently God was working over time that day as not only did he make her drop dead gorgeous, he gave her a brain and a beautiful heart as well. She is the Hot Chick of the group, sometimes you just have to the play the hand you are dealt. (I wanted the position of hot chick, but I got vetoed…. sigh). Last but certainly never least is my sister Jillian, who is also my friend, not because we are blood related, but because we choose to be friends. Jillian, is beautiful and vibrant, her aura immediately illuminates the entire room. She is a back east speak her mind kind of girl, but pulls it off with class and eloquence. Although we have spent most of our lives on opposite coasts, we have always lived in one another’s heart. We have lived to tell the tale of 4 husbands (that is 2 for each of us), 3 children, 1 scheming grandmother and 2 semi- crazy mothers (which we insistently say we are nothing like..). So there they are the nucleus of my sphere of influence, and the strength that enables me to progress in my weakest of moments. I know it all sounds S.I.C (Sex in the Cityish), but truthfully there is little more precious in life than the unconditional love and support of your truest lifelong friends
Kasi made reference to my moral compass last week, and it occurred to me while we each have our own internal moral compass that guides us we depend on our friends perspective to widen or balance the scope of our moral compass. In this particular conversation we were discussing the enticement of cheating. I having just lived through the hellacious nightmare of my husband cheating, have very strong views on infidelity. I would gladly climb on my soap box and tell anyone that will listen, cheating is wrong, it is immoral and unethical. Married men try to hit on me and I instantly and disdainfully turn my nose up at them. Crystal clear to me….simple …black and white….if a man is in a marriage or relationship …he is off limits… DO NOT TOUCH. So there I was cruising through my newly single life, sitting on my soap box, feeling confident in my standards and knowing what I was looking for in the prospective man I would want to date. One weekend night Trinity, Kasi and I went out on the town, we were having a great time, the band was playing, we were drinking tequila and dancing the night away. Later in the evening I was standing at the bar, when I felt a strong arm slip around my waist, my long reddish hair being brushed away from my neck, I turned around to find myself staring into the crystal blue eyes of temptation. While Mr. Temptation is not married, it appears he is not available either, at least for any legitimate, out in the open, above board, kind of relationship and yet the intensity of the attraction between us cannot be denied, believe me I have tried. I found my potential desire to be quite a moral dilemma weighing on my mind, and probably my conscious for all the lustful fantasies that seemed to be preventing my brain from having any lucid thoughts.
Upon discovering myself entertaining the thought of participating in some shameless indiscretion, I sought the wisdom and guidance of my moral compasses. One of things that make our foursome so rare and invaluable is the vast difference in our personalities and perceptions. Kasi and Jillian are the spontaneous, adventurous, throw caution to the wind ones of the group as where Trinity and I are more meticulous, fastidious and thought out. After I revealed my undeniable intrigue, that is in direct violation of my values, for the blue eyed man of temptation, to my moral compasses I waited to hear how they would guide me. Jillian and Kasi both encouraged me to, perhaps for once in my life, flirt with passion, be a little risky or perhaps risqué. That is not to say they are trying to persuade me to rip the clothes off of this captivating man that may be in a relationship. They simply suggested I may want to indulge, in all that makes the attraction exciting, while pondering where it may or may not inevitably lead. Kasi did say, she thinks it is important to clarify the nature of the possible relationship Mr. Temptation is in. Pointing out that if he is in fact not in a relationship, we will no longer be able to call him Mr. Temptation and a new name will have to be bestowed upon him. Trinity will never tell me not to do something she always takes the alternate route theory. Her opinion was that a notable, visible, attraction was obvious for all to see, and I could explore that but wouldn’t I rather be interested in a guy that can offer me more of what I want, without any possible relationships in the closet?
As I listened to each of them counsel and advise me based on the knowledge they have gained, through countless journeys on the relationship highway. It was not the journey I may or may not embark upon with Mr. Temptation that consumed my thoughts any longer. It was the many journeys; I hope to travel on the forever friendship highway with these women. It is the knowledge that every day, that I know them I am a better person for it.