The Other Woman
Many of you already know from my previous columns that I am divorced and my husband had an affair. I spent a long time hating this woman I frequently refer to as “Satan”. In fact if I saw her on the street or in a grocery store, it is highly doubtful I would be able to contain myself even now, as something’s are just unforgiveable. I am shocked at how many people upon hearing of an affair simply dismiss the behavior of the other woman, with the mindset that she is not the married party. Clearly if a married man is having an affair, his behavior is immoral and unethical not to mention downright sleazy and disgusting. But isn’t sleeping with a man you know is married and has a family equivalently sleazy and disgusting?
When did women cease to have respect for the commitment of marriage/relationship or the boundaries of the family unit, unless they are the wives/ girlfriend in question? How can it be that there is no comradery amongst woman? If a man is married or committed are there not red flags and huge loud sirens going off to alert us that this is a DANGER zone. Do not enter; back away slowly …run for your life …something. I hope women have not come to the conclusion..”Oh well if I can’t find what I want, I will just scheme to take something that looks good from someone else.” First of all.. of course it looks good from the outside and when it is someone else’s. Doesn’t everything? Second of all.. if you can take him from his current relationship, someone can take him from you. Why do women have no respect for other women? Have we forgotten how to live by the golden rule, (do onto others as you would have done onto you)?
As I walked through the absolute hell, my husband and Satan created in my life, it always amazed me that she felt completely justified to sneak around and sleep with my husband. In fact, after I discovered the affair, she would call and rant mean hateful things to me like, “I made it my goal to take your husband from you”, or “He will never stop talking to me.” It was as if I was an inconvenience to her to be in my own marriage, and preventing her from getting what she wanted, my husband. She spent hours making multitudes of horrible phone calls and writing nasty blogs. Yet, my husband never once acknowledged her as anything more than some crazy psycho woman that was fixated on him. He continuously denied her existence or importance in his life, never once giving her the legitimacy, she so hungered for. How does one set out with malicious intent to ruin another’s life for their own personal gain, and feel justified? More importantly, what kind of woman looks in the mirror, sees this person looking back at her and likes what she has become?
How does it begin? When a woman meets a married man, what is the convincing factor that makes her decide to make this purchase? If she were shopping and saw a great looking man with a sign beneath him that read, “Married, has kids, beautiful home, great career, all of which you will never be part of, we will sneak around have sex, no one will know you exist, I will never spend any holidays with you or acknowledge our relationship. Would you say to yourself “I have to have one of these?” And put him in your shopping cart? Hell, no you wouldn’t! So honestly why do women buy into the lies Mr. Married tells? Is it Ignorance or desperation?
Is there some desperate point, where a woman decides I will take half a man it is better than nothing? Settling for the time that is left over after his wife, work, family and friends telling yourself it is sufficient. Sitting around waiting for crumbs of his attention like a dutiful little dog waiting for scrapes from the table. Seriously Ladies, have we sunk to this level in what we will accept in a man? When did women stop valuing themselves enough to put up with this nonsense? Stop believing his wife is an out of control crazy bitch that never has sex with him and couldn’t possibly understand the real him. She is not I guarantee it; she is the woman he loved enough to make legitimately his wife. He is not staying married for the sake of the children either; there are millions of successful single fathers out there. Truthfully, none of his excuses matter because married is married until it legally transitions into divorced. Women need to re-evaluate, regain their integrity and unite. Imagine if every woman in the country stood together and refused to cheat. Where would infidelity be then?
In the case of Satan, well she had her sights set on my husband long before I ever entered the picture, I just did not know. She was actually instrumental in breaking up his marriage previous to mine. So actually Satan dedicated 10 years of her life to sneaking around with a married man and breaking up his marriages. I fail to see the pay off in living that type of existence. I of course, ended my marriage because of the affair. Shortly thereafter my ex- husband discarded Satan, and went on to start a relationship that he actually acknowledges with another woman. I have often wondered to myself in the end was it worth it to Satan to be the other woman.
*** Note names in this column have been changed to protect the not innocent one single bit.